life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
