I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
