every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
soo... how was my night?
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