i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
