Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
