fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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