She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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