I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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