I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
