my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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