the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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