I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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