she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
