I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
