oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just invented taco cereal.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
