If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
