Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
