If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
