her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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