I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
