Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
