it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
