Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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