Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize