Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
