Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
