To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
