reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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