you traded sex for a burrito?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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