Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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