I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
