I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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