I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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