The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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