Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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