Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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