party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
