Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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