well you can't waste a boner
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
