My hand turned me down
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
