I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My bed smells like the plague
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
