Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
