Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
