She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am midnight drunk by noon
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
