another moral hangover. fuck.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
