And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
