I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
