there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
