For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
