Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
